Being a father is the most important job I will ever have. I feel boundless love for my two beautiful children and carry full responsibility for their safety and care. They will be my legacy in this world. All parents are future-shapers.
I am not just a father. I am also a person in recovery from addiction. Thanks to the 12 Steps, I have been free of substances for over 13 years. But I am still an addict, and as they say in AA, “No matter how far down the road you go, you are still the same distance from the ditch.” Recovery, like fatherhood, is a never-ending process where I get to practice progress, not perfection.
Yet unlike in recovery, where I go to meetings and learn from fellows about how to stay sober, there is no community of shared wisdom for fathers, particularly fathers who are addicts. I’m winging it and have no idea what I’m doing. I need help.
This podcast is meant to provide that help, to dads in recovery like me who face myriad challenges as fathers and are learning as they go. Some of these challenges are unique to recovering addicts. For example, the prospect of a child becoming an addict haunts almost every parent in recovery. How can we break the cycle of addiction that has ravaged our family trees? And how can many of us break the cycle of abuse and trauma that pushed us toward our disease? These are the questions that keep me up at night as a recovering addict, and ones we seek to address on this podcast.
There are other universal challenges all parents face that take on their own hue through the lens of recovery. How do I set effective boundaries with my children when the concept of boundaries may be foreign to me? How do I show up in a way I’m proud of despite feeling hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? And how do I hold myself accountable when I miss the mark?
These are the types of challenges my co-host Cliff and I had the opportunity to discuss with a slate of amazing guests during this first season of the Dads in Recovery podcast. We spoke about practicing self-care while not sliding into selfishness with Trey Laird. We wrestled with the topic of disclosing our addictions to our children with Scott Mansfield. We learned about the beauty of boundaries with John Hyland. Michael R described the gift of modeling accountability. Torin S exemplified the action that is a living amends. And Chris U shared a deeply personal story about how fatherhood motivates his recovery.
While we spoke at length about fatherhood, the topic of masculinity arose again and again. Most of the men on this podcast were raised to believe men are supposed to be stoic, unaffectionate, infallible, and self-sufficient. Our conversations explored a new version of masculinity, one characterized by courage through vulnerability, growth through imperfection, and strength through connection. It is this modern masculinity we are modeling for our own sons.
None of this season would exist without the guests who trusted us with their stories. Trey, Scott, John, Michael, Torin, and Chris gave us their time, their experience, and their honesty. All they asked in return was the opportunity to be of service. We are also grateful to everyone who has listened, shared an episode, or sent us a message saying a conversation landed at the right time. This show exists because you showed up for it.
If any of this resonates, give the first season a listen and subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. And if you’re a dad in recovery with a story to tell, or a topic you think we should tackle, reach out. We built this podcast to be a conversation, not a monologue, and we want to hear from you.
Dads in recovery, let’s make sobriety our superpower!
-Brandon